Frown: A Vice

I shall admit it- I was in a morose kind of mood for the past few days. I felt tense, frustrated, purposeless, and wasted. Among other things I also feel lonely. It might be interesting to explore the root-cause of each of those negative emotions, but it might be a better choice to understand how to deal with it all. I have broken no ground, which has not been broken before, but in some small way I have resolved the situation for myself. May be it can help others too.

Although I am still tending the remnants of that phase, yet I decided to give myself a little shake and have tried to gain some focus this morning. I had a feeling that my head was held in a vice, which was getting tighter by the minute. I had heard a lot about anxiety attack but yesterday I seemed to have had one myself. I was not ready for that, but it shook me very rudely, nonetheless. I am not sure that I am ready for the anxiety monster to take over my existence, just yet. I woke up this morning (if you count lying in the bed closed-eyes as sleeping) feeling dull and groggy. Somehow, I got ready and left for work in time. My head was still in that invisible vice, which was ready to crush my head in the next minute. The feeling of helplessness was just about to spread all over me. And that is a very precarious position to be in when you are driving. I tried to gain focus on my physical situation and started where the hurt was the most- my head. There was a dreadful little frown sitting right on my brow. “That is that awful vice that has been crushing my head for the last few days,” I told myself. It felt better, after I smoothened that frown. Sure, enough the head was back to its normal function and negativity raised its head the vice started to get tighter yet again. I repeated the exercise all through my ½ hour drive to work. I was attentive for the frown to not form again. It crept in off and on and I kept brushing it off. I cannot say it was fun, but in the end it improved my stance. My mind could not collect negative thoughts while I was working on the vice; I had it working for me. And half hour was a good time for making my mind quit the morose mood pattern. I had gained some control and a realization too, that it is our determination that makes our minds and bodies to behave the way we like. Yes, the negativity will keep returning and we will always have rough patches in our lives. However, to deal with them we have to keep our heads out of that unpleasant vice and to achieve that we have to try to crease away the frown whenever it appears.